OutTakes
by Edd Merritt

No Six Pack Left Behind

The brewer’s code is “breed consistency.” The educator’s code is “breed creativity.”

Seldom the twain shall meet.

“Joe Six Pack,” that clichéed character from somewhere vaguely called “heartland America,” is a brewer’s dream and a teacher’s nightmare.
Along with his cousin, “Joe the Plumber,” Mr. Six Pack’s name has been used ad nauseum by politicians and supposedly smart journalists to conjure up some large segment of the American populace.
As both neophyte journalist and home brewer, I take exception to asking Joe to dance on both sides of the fence. Yes, good beer is achieved through consistent flavor, texture, specific gravity and color. Good humanity, however, bares its nature through individuality, intelligence, creative thought processes and ability to remain oneself with others, even when the pressure is on – like at Animal House parties?
Joe Six Pack can’t be recognized at a glance, nor should he be. His colleague, Mr. Magic Hat, on the other hand, should shine through every glass. One of my toughest challenges is to brew beer that is what it purports to be batch after batch. I have yet to show that I can meet this challenge well. I thank my stars that more recipes exist than I can bottle in three lifetimes.
Charlotte author Susan Ohanian in her book When Childhood Collides with NCLB [No Child left Behind], published by Vermont Society for the Study of Education, Inc., picks apart the notion of standardized testing. She argues for an antidote to its overemphasis in schools. It should not drive education, she says.
Ohanian criticizes our current government’s promotion of the “No Child Left Behind” act as a way of requiring schools to produce pawns for the corporate infrastructure. Her book’s layout follows the title. On each page she juxtaposes her thoughts and descriptions of what childhood is and what it ought to be in poetic verse opposite excerpts from others. Some of the quotes from these authors compliment NCLB; others criticize it; still others speak about it satirically.
Her point, if I may transpose it into my own experience, is that children, unlike beer, need freedom to roam in their minds and their bodies. Oh, yes, beers, too, assume dimensions ranging from pale ale to Scottish porter. However, once you discover one to your liking, I urge you to duplicate it. Be consistent. Ascribe to your own rules of “No Beer Left Behind.”
Just don’t lay the same demands on every kid. In all likelihood, they’ll write their own recipes. Ohanian quotes author Wendell Berry who says, “Good teaching is an investment in the minds of the young, as obscure in result, as remote from immediate proof as planting a chestnut seedling.”
She also quotes Stephen Vizinczey, “Consistency is a virtue for trains.” and Ralph Waldo Emerson, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”
You know, this all has a bearing on democracy doesn’t it? I mean, the democratic ideal is a society built on a faith that people can create it, change it for the betterment of all and maintain it. That seems too daunting a task to be left to minds squelched early on by rote standardization.
It may also, by the way, be an impossible task for excessively large bodies of people – “The Empire” to which Charlotte secessionist Thomas Naylor alludes. I find myself listening to national campaign jargon and wondering whether the country has outgrown its ability to recognize and utilize creativity in positive ways. Democracy calls for all to have a say, but as that “all” grows larger and the “say” falls to greater masses, we cling tenaciously to current paradigms. Is it time to question our country’s size? Has it become, in fact, detrimental to the change that modern world disorder requires? Maybe so.
Ohanian asserts that “No Child Left Behind” promotes a common theme, “What’s good for business is good for kids.” She questions the plausibility of that theme, at one point quoting Harold Taylor, president of Sarah Lawrence College during the McCarthy era, who said, “Most of the important experiences that truly educate cannot be arranged ahead of time with any precision.”
We can’t assume what will be learned. There’s often a gestation period during which ideas are tested further; more data collects in the psyche, and emotion leads the mind in directions not considered by test makers.
Five years ago Molly Ivins wrote, “The right says that, in the private sector, pay and performance are related. I look at the CEOs of American corporations, and if there’s a connection between pay and performance there, I missed it.” Meanwhile, their behavior hit the fan, right?
Entangled in the current socio-political mess, we’re left trying to pull it from the edge of the abyss. We’re also charged with helping our offspring cope with the leftovers. Ivins speaks with assertion, but not without humor. She focuses on freedom, a concept I’m pretty sure we were taught had something to do with the founding of this nation. Let’s hope it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.

“So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.”
–Molly Ivins in Mother Jones, May/June 1993

Fun is for everyone, not just kids. Call me selfish, but it’s mine, too, dammit. At 65, stayin’ alive demands it.

“. . . and nothing but a child could help erase these miles so once again we all can be children for awhile.” –Steve Earle in “Nothing But a Child”