Home Sick

For the past week, our family has been inundated with illness. High fevers, sore throats, stomach viruses—you name it, we’ve had it. You might be thinking that I am about to embark on a tirade about what a drag it is when illness strikes, but I have to confess that I kind of enjoy it when my children are sick.

For me, having one of the kids home from school is on par with a holiday. One-on-one time is a rarity in our house, so I seize any and all opportunity. Barring a truly dreadful virus (one which includes vomiting, for example), I love being on pause while the rest of the world tumbles forward. “Right now, everyone is probably getting off the bus,” my son smugly declares as he kicks off his slippers and crawls under our down comforter to watch the Today Show with me. I clear my schedule, get into my flannel pjs, grab the paper and commit myself to sympathetic convalescing. For the rest of the day we will do nothing more strenuous than draw, read and watch cartoons in bed, breaking only to indulge in a long afternoon nap (note: sick days are a lot more fun on cold, dark winter days).

Just a generation ago, this coveted “down time” was naturally built into the week. It was generally accepted that one wouldn’t grocery shop, fix the car or even go to the movies on Sunday afternoons. One day a week was protected from schedules, obligations and work. Now, the experience of being still and doing nothing is remarkably shunned. Extra sports practices, ice time, gym time, games, sport jamborees, meeting times and errands all seep into the evening and weekend hours which were, until very recently, sacred family time. 

Our culture is caught up in the never-ending promise of providing more for our kids. After all, what is more American than opportunity? Have we forgotten the importance of playing outside, family dinners, card games by the fire, fighting with siblings (and having the time to work it out)? Are we creating an insidious cultural attention deficit disorder? While our children’s lives are chock-full of activities we never had, I can’t help but worry that we’re raising a generation of over-programmed and stimulated kids who could really benefit from some “do nothing” intensive training.

Unfortunately, as our children get older, I find it increasingly difficult to persuade them that they really are sick and need to miss school. Just this morning I urged my daughter to stave off her sniffles and stay home with me. “But I’ll miss math and French and I don’t want to have to make up all of the work,” she moaned. Since when did schoolwork trump root beer floats in bed with mom?  And if we are unfortunate enough to have a particularly healthy year, I happily encourage a day of R&R (aka hooky). Lunch with Mom? A matinee, perhaps? Surprisingly, luring my kids into a day off is a pretty hard sell when the reality is that, as they get older, they take on more responsibility (mostly in the form of homework) and are perpetually afraid of falling behind. Perhaps it’s a compensatory response for the generation of “slackers” who spawned them.

And as much as I love doing nothing, I also must confess my need to be needed. Yes, I pathetically long for the time when my children were toddlers and wanted nothing more than to cuddle and play with me; I was the center of their universe. When the flu flourishes, I can briefly reclaim the motherly prowess of young parenthood. Friends, lessons, school, homework and sports which dominate our daily routine, temporarily take a backseat to resting, and, more importantly, being taken care of by me. 

Employers recognize the value of mental health days—why not advocate for them for children? There is nothing I love more than being home with my children and watching the world pass by. Like all the generations before us, I hope my children develop the ability to daydream, imagine, create and enjoy the subtle and sublime. Staying home (sick or not) is the perfect training opportunity for such a lofty endeavor. After all, there is nothing better than the feeling of accomplishment after a rigorous day of doing nothing.